Rann Miller: The Resolution to Be Better
Graphic by Habib Salami.
Op-Ed Column
BY RANN MILLER | For AC JosepH Media
For many folks, the holidays mark a great time of year for relaxation, celebration, and spending time with family. For others, the holidays are a time of sadness and quiet reflection, thinking on life changes, some for the better and others for the worse.
Also reflecting on loved ones who are absent or worse, those who’ve transitioned from this life.
All of that makes the new year beginning even more meaningful.
Whether coming off a year of triumph, challenges, or a mixed bag, the new year offers everyone an opportunity for renewal and even redemption. Thus, there are many ways to turn over a new leaf, whether by quitting a bad habit, reducing it, or creating new healthy habits.
We find hope in the birthing of something new to replace the despair or disappointment we leave behind. Our new goals become our salvation, as our year-long success is measured by achieving them. It’s such a capitalist way of thinking about progress, and quite frankly, it’s problematic.
Because when we fail to achieve the “goal,” we often abandon the work that led to it. We then return to the places and spaces we don’t want to be, until the start of another new year.
Capitalism is based on the exploitation of laborers. Still, it leads us to believe that the outcome of that exploitation is what matters most, and that failure to achieve that outcome renders any effort toward the goal meaningless. That’s how we approach our growth and development.
We’ve got to change our thinking. The “goal” shouldn’t be the goal.
Like most people, getting in shape was a goal of mine. That meant that I needed to exercise more. A few years ago (2021), I made a New Year’s resolution to go to the gym. I joined a gym, started attending regularly, then fell off. Life happens sometimes… working late to meeting family obligations.
Falling off created guilt and led to the abandonment of my goal. It happens to a lot of folks. They start strong, trail off, and fall off. Once fallen off, they feel shame or guilt and stop because of their perception of having failed.
It’s why the “goal” shouldn’t be the goal. Instead, development must be our focus.
In the Spring, I recommitted to the gym. A bit saddened by falling off, I asked myself what my goal was. Was it simply going to the gym, or was the gym a means to an end? Once I realized that the gym and exercise were a means to an end, my mind shifted from checking a box to dedicating myself to improving my health.
My focus became development. I was honest with myself attended the gym when I could. As I made two days a week a habit, I added a day. Two days became three and three days became four. Gym and exercise are part of my life rhythm.
Again, development must be the focus. If I want to reduce my debt, I shouldn’t stop applying the habits that actually reduced it. I must continue those habits to create healthy finances. Even if I add some debt, the work of paying it down continues, and eventually it will be paid off.
Completion isn’t the goal… being better at doing a thing is. Practice makes permanent, and permanent is continuous. There’s no end. As you become a better parent, you always function as a parent. As you become a better athlete, you never cease from being an athlete. Rather than completing a work, we must focus on becoming better at it.
Capitalism tells us to check boxes because checking boxes is about production outcomes, and outcomes come with payoffs. The kinds of improvements people want to make for themselves take time and may not be easily seen… and we want to see results immediately.
But progress is gradual and only becomes permanent when we make good habits continuous. Therefore, we must focus on being better to be our best, no matter what “better” means in a person’s life.
Rather than trying to be perfect, we should focus on becoming better. Because perfection leaves no room for development. But it does make room for being critical of others and critical of oneself. But a focus on being better leaves room for more improvement and the opportunity to celebrate the creation of good habits.
A frustrating reality is that we live in a society where prices are overinflated, wages fail to match what’s necessary to live comfortably for many people, and this government refuses to make everyone a priority by addressing affordability, rising health care costs, income inequality, and making education accessible for all.
Anxiety, fear, and depression are marks of the times amongst many people. It’s natural to wish to exert control over one’s fate and take it into one’s own hands to produce a better fortune. But the reality is that we do not control what happens beyond our own decisions.
So, let’s work to be better… at decision-making, at how we respond to what happens in our lives, and at how we treat one another, because the only thing we can control is ourselves.
Don’t allow society or people to guilt you into believing that goals are all or nothing. We can develop. We can grow. We can simply decide to be better. So, let’s concentrate on doing that.
BIO: Rann Miller is a writer, author, and educator. A graduate of Rutgers, the State University of New Jersey, Rann teaches AP United States History, is the author of Resistance Stories from Black History for Kids, and is an opinion columnist, featured in various news outlets exploring the intersections of race, education, politics, culture and history. You can follow on “X” @RealRannMiller, on IG, and TikTok @realrannmiller.
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