Let’s Talk About What Matters – The Complexities of Mother’s Day
Photo courtesy of Samaritan
BY PHILLIP W. HEATH MS| President and CEO, Samaritan
Each May, Mother’s Day offers us the opportunity to pause and recognize the individuals who nurture, guide, and support us throughout our lives. When we think of mothers, we think of all of moms, yet we also think of grandmothers, aunts, sisters, mentors, and caregivers – anyone who steps forward to offer comfort, wisdom, and unconditional love. These maternal figures shape who we are, often in quiet but profound ways.
I was fortunate to grow up in a family where motherhood was defined by resilience and strength. My own mother raised eight children, a task that required patience, determination, and an incredible capacity for love. She balanced countless responsibilities, made sacrifices without hesitation, and ensured each of us felt seen and supported. Watching her navigate both the joys and challenges of raising a large family gave me a deep appreciation for the strength of mothers.
My mother is now ninety-eight years old, and I am grateful every day that she is still here with us, imparting wisdom and sharing in life’s precious moments. I will also share that last year, we lost my beloved mother-in-law at age ninety, and my wife and I learned firsthand that the sayings about love and grief being intertwined are indeed quite true.
For our family, as for many, Mother’s Day arrives with complex emotions in tow. Those who have lost a mother or another maternal figure may face the day’s approach with trepidation. The loss of a mother is often felt across every sphere of life – in family traditions, milestone celebrations, everyday conversations, and even in the quiet moments when we long for their guidance. Because mothers are so impactful, a day dedicated to celebrating them may feel especially heavy.
Those mothers who have lost a child, and those women who have never fulfilled their dream of becoming a mother, may also find Mother’s Day difficult to navigate. By acknowledging both the joy and the grief of the holiday, we can create a more inclusive narrative that honors all experiences.
I have learned that grief is not limited to a single day or season but rather evolves and changes over time. Grief, in all its seasons, is a natural response to love. When we lose someone who played such a central role in our lives, the absence can feel vast. Yet, while grief is universal, everyone’s journey through grief is different.
Seeking out the support we need can make a meaningful difference in how we process loss and find ways to honor the memories of those we hold dear. Grief counseling, support groups, and peer connections provide safe spaces where individuals can share their experiences and find
comfort amongst peers who understand. Sometimes just learning about the hallmarks of grief can create a “roadmap,” so we can learn what to expect. And grief support options can be tailored to help a person navigate their specific loss – such as Samaritan’s “Daughters Without Mothers” support group, which offers the chance for women to connect with others who have lost a maternal figure.
This Mother’s Day, we honor all mothers – those who are with us, those we now carry in our heart, those who have stepped into maternal roles, and those mothers with empty arms. May we celebrate their strength, remember their love, and extend compassion to those experiencing loss. And for anyone grieving, know that support is available, and you do not have to walk this journey alone.
To learn more about Samaritan’s grief support groups and resources, as well as tips on coping with holidays such as Mother’s Day, please visit us at SamaritanNJ.org.
About Author
