Let’s Talk About What Matters: Tips for Caregivers When “Happy New Year” Feels Complicated
Image courtesy of Samaritan.
BY KIMBERLY RUMAKER, MSS, LCSW | Manager of Social Work and Counseling Services, Samaritan
As we turn our calendars to January and welcome the New Year, the world around us echoes with messages of resolutions, fresh starts and renewal.
For many, this season can be filled with hope and anticipation. However, for those caring for a loved one or friend with a serious or life-threatening illness, the phrase “Happy New Year” can take on a completely different meaning and spur emotions of conflict, alienation or even pain and heartache.
Caregivers may find themselves caught between celebration and positivity on one hand, and exhaustion and grief on the other. The simple phrase “Happy New Year” should evoke joy, but oftentimes can feel out of step with reality when a caregiver reflects on their situation and responsibilities to their loved one.
For many, being a “good caregiver” means sacrificing time, care, family, emotions, friendships, self-care … the list could go on and on. However, this is simply not true.
Caregivers lose sight of self-care. So then let’s explore why caregivers are more apt to put their own needs aside to focus on others — Is it a fear of stepping away? Is it a feeling of guilt for prioritizing themselves? Or are they simply too tired to think about putting one more thing on their plate, even if it’s to help themselves?
Chances are it’s a combination of many of these things and more. However, sometimes all you need is a gentle reminder to STOP, BREATHE and REFOCUS on your own state of mind and emotional well-being before you continue to pour yourself into others.
If you are a caregiver, let me be that reminder today. Here are some tips for how you can better care for yourself as you continue to look after your loved one:
- Choose to believe that self-care is not selfish, it is essential for health in body, mind and spirit.
- Honor the moment over the calendar. You don’t need to force celebration.
- Let go of expectations — resist pressures to make resolutions or match the energy of others if that is not what you are feeling in your heart.
- Take time to reflect. Journaling and quiet moments can help you process emotions.
- Consider turning to the help of a certified home health aide or specially trained volunteer to assist you with your loved one.
- Take care of yourself physically — get adequate sleep, eat nourishing food, and drink hydrating water.
- Add restorative exercises, like walking or gentle stretching, to offset the physicality of daily caregiving tasks and endless chores.
- Make and keep medical appointments for yourself. Take your medications with the same care and attention that you ensure your loved one does.
- Turn to others for support — Call a friend, join a support group, and/or lean on family, friends, or professional resources for support. Allow them to help.
- Ask for what you need and want but also be sure to say “No” without apologies.
- Turn to educational resources and guides, like Samaritan’s complimentary Caregiver Support Guides.
Caregiving may feel isolating and lonely, but you never have to go through it on your own. There are many resources, such as Samaritan’s Social Connections programs right in your own community that are able to provide support as you care for your loved one.
This year, my wish for you is that you know that you are seen, valued, and never alone in your caregiving experience. The care you provide matters profoundly.
I extend my heartfelt gratitude to all caregivers in the community. As January unfolds, may you find encouragement in small victories and the courage to seek and receive the care and support you need and deserve. I wish each of you peace, comfort, renewal and joy in the coming year.
Samaritan offers a variety of resources and services for caregivers. If you would like to learn more about their caregiver support or how to best care for a loved one with serious or life-threatening illness, call our care team at (856) 596-1600.
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